Mama on a Mission

I couldn’t figure out how to write this one.  I can feel it, but I can’t quite put it into words so that it comes out the way I feel it.  So here goes:

I posted the following on my Facebook page a few days ago with the picture:

“Those of you who know me pretty well know that I am not generally one to show skin. That being said my grandma always said “hunny if ya got it flaunt it!” So here’s my IT!
I had a baby 11 weeks ago and I feel amazing!

Thank you for letting me share my excitement “

That first sentence is very true, I am really not one to show skin.  It’s just never been inside my comfort zone.  So here’s the truth behind this post.

I was border lined depressed prior to getting pregnant with my second child.  I was not in love with my job or my income, I was not in love with my wellness choices, and I was having a hard time finding things that made me happy.  I started working out and getting healthy again.  Everything turned around from there.  My body and my mind were in such better shape.  I kept forcing myself to make time for that workout no matter what that amount of time was (10 minutes, 30 minutes, 60 minutes, 90 minutes if I was lucky).  I was healthy.  Everything happened after that, I found a new job, we got a house, I got pregnant.  The pregnancy was rough and I often felt useless because I was so worn out.  After I had my daughter I bounced back really quickly.  I attribute that to how healthy I was before I got pregnant.  As soon as I was able I started working out again because that is what makes me feel good.  That is the one piece of me time and sanity that I have between a full time job, a 3 year old boy, a new born girl, a house to keep clean, a dog to keep busy, and trying to be a good partner to my other half.  This is the one thing that I have found that gives me an outlet and that I can force myself to make time for.  It makes me feel good and in turn makes me better in all my other aspects of life.  What does this have to do with a facebook post?  Let me explain:

Body shaming is a big issue these days, and so many people focus on their curvy bodies, and their after baby bodies that are still a little droopy.  And as a mom and a human I say more power to you and hell yes, you are beautiful.  We are all different and we are all perfect in our own imperfect ways.  Often times I look at these women with their beautiful curves and think “Damn, I wish I had just one curve!”  My point here is that body shaming works both ways.  These women with their beautiful curves aren’t the only ones who experience it.  I am very fortunate in that my body bounced back from pregnancy weight and shape and was back to normal very quickly.  That doesn’t mean I can’t hear the tone of your voice and the sarcasm behind it when you say “Well don’t you just look all skinny after just having a kid”.  It also doesn’t make me blind to your disgusted facial expression as you look me over, roll your eyes and say nothing.  Lastly, it doesn’t make me deaf to your whispers a few feet away as I finally wear my normal clothes again and the fact that my stomach is fairly flat becomes more visible.

So the truth behind this post is simply that I found my outlet, my sanity, my me time and I am happy, and while the sarcasm, the looks, and the whispers suggest that I should be sorry about it, I’m not.  I feel great and I’m not sorry.  I work for what I have.  I wake up at 4:45am every morning whether the baby is up or not and force myself to find time outside of my crazy life to put me first, even if only for 15 minutes.  There are those who think that I am bragging simply for making this post, and to that I say, your damn right!  I am happy because I made a decision to be, and I feel good about me, so yes I am bragging.  Every part of me wishes that others would feel good enough to brag as well.  Whoever you are be you, own you, love you, be happy with who you are, and brag about it!  It’s okay to love who you are.