Some people live by the phrase “Don’t get mad, get even”. When I played hockey I know this was my favorite saying. Also the reason I spent a significant amount of time in the penalty box. I had a temper from the time I was 2 (thank you Irish heritage) and it’s been with me my whole life. When I was on the ice something would happen and my initial response was to get even, take them out. Then they would learn their lesson! I was tiny but I was feisty! Oh they learned their lesson all right. They capitalized on the two minutes I spent riding the bench in the penalty box. How was this getting even? I was too naïve to understand it then. I thought this with boys when I was in high school. Go through a breakup, I’m not even mad but I will get even and they will be sorry. Pretty sure that meant I was going to wear a super cute outfit to school the next day and then they would realize how stupid they were. Man were we all superficial in high school. Never did it occur to me that maybe my personality was the problem, or maybe even that temper we were talking about. Anyways, that’s a whole different topic. I had the same thought with jobs when I didn’t get the promotion I wanted. I would show them by getting a different, better job. Let’s see how sorry they would be without me. Never did it occur to me that it just wasn’t my time, or that really wasn’t the right job for me, or they were just looking for something a little different.
29 years it has taken me to FINALLY get it right. I have been living by the wrong motto. What’s a motto? NOTHING, WHAT’S A MOTTO WITH YOU! Bahaha! Ok a little Lion King humor never hurt anyone. Back to my point, I have had it all wrong. Well, not ALL wrong. You should never get mad, that part I had right. Getting mad gets you nowhere. It increases your blood pressure, puts you in a poor state of mind, takes your focus away from what you should be thinking about and working at, and it infects others with negativity and anger. Getting mad is useless. Life is too short to ever be mad or upset, what a waste!
As for getting even. Is that really a thing? What does it mean to get even? Does that mean an eye for eye? Is it helpful in the long run if we are all blind? Does that mean that I took a legit hit in a hockey game, so in turn I took cheap shot at someone else? How is that even? Is it really getting even to sink to the level of someone who is angry and negative? Or would it be more useful and more fulfilling to capitalize on the advantage you have now been given? Yes, advantage meaning not even. Nothing is ever even, nor should it be. If the whole world was even it would be a pretty boring place. If I give you a freshman college student, a white collar business man whose been in his job for 18 years, and a police force K-9 unit, these are not even nor will they ever be. Each has something the other does not based on DNA, background, experience, current situation, species, etc.
On the other hand, taking something that upsets you for some reason and finding motivation, now that’s the thing!! Dive in to why you are mad, what made you so upset, and why has this event, thing, person, word gotten under your skin. Utilize that feeling to become motivated to make changes. Be motivated to change your situation! Think that what’s happening is out of your control? Feel like there is no way out? Look around, someone worse off than you, survived, succeeded, and shared their success. Be motivated, use that anger and frustration as fuel!
Let’s dig deeper:
You’re in debt. You can’t seem to catch up. You have too many bills, too much stuff happening, you have weddings, after birthdays, after baby showers, after Mother’s day, after Christmas, and so on. Just when you think you are caught up, another expense shows up. You find yourself getting frustrated every time you get invited to shower because that just means you have to spend more money. You have trouble being happy for people because all you can think about it the expense that it means for you. You end up mad at yourself for feeling like this, frustrated that you can’t catch a break to catch up, and bitter toward others who are seemingly fine. Where is it getting you to be mad? Use this feeling as fuel, as motivation. Get motivated to make more money. Take the time you spend doing useless things, and find something you enjoy, something you are passionate about and start pursuing it as a hobby, and another way of making money. If the only goal is to make more money then start working another job. Do more to get more. Be motivated and do what it takes to get where you need to be.
You have a bad day at work that turns into a bad week at work. You get upset because your coworkers are difficult to work with. You hate going to work every day. You spend your time at work mad about the decisions being made around you. The place you have to sit and the people you have to sit by drive you crazy. You don’t feel like you are making what you are worth. Where is it getting you to force yourself to go somewhere you don’t want to be, and maintain a state of negativity 40 hours a week plus the amount of time it takes you to snap out of it after work. Don’t get mad. Get motivated. Be motivated to make a change. Make the change to start bettering yourself to move in to a position you love, one that makes you happy. Be motivated to get that promotion so that you can be the one making the decisions. If you aren’t willing to invest in the changes in yourself to move to a different position, make the commitment to yourself for a mindset change. Find the positive. Stay motivated by what you wish was different.
Motivation is different for everyone. Find yours. Dig deep and figure out where it comes from. What makes you want more, what makes you want to be better. What will it take? Ask yourself, what motivates me?
My motivation comes from various places. I used to struggle to find my motivation. Now I find it everywhere I go. First and foremost, I find motivation in my kids. I want to play with them, set examples for them, coach them. I want them to think their mom is the Hulk, and there’s nothing she can’t do. Yes, that’s right, the Hulk!
I find motivation in my frustration. When things are out of my control, or in my control but not going as I want, when I am overwhelmed, sad, confused, angry, etc. I pull motivation to make a change.
I choose to believe that everything in my life is in my control. It’s all a matter of how I handle myself. I can be a winner, or I can be a loser. It’s all up to me. I refuse to be a victim. Nothing happens to me, it happens because of me, therefore I must stay motivated.
Everything you do is a decision regardless of the amount of difficulty it takes to come to the conclusion. Why would you decide to let someone else make your decisions for you? BE MOTIVATED. DO MORE. LIVE HAPPIER.