You have to hit a point where you realize who you are, and who you are not. You have to understand your strengths and your weaknesses, and then understand the strengths and weakness of those around you.
I am strong, and I am confident, but I lack patience. Two positives to every negative right? I wish everyday that I was more patient in my life, with everything; with work, with my career, with my kids, with my dog, with my house chores, cooking, reading, with MYSELF! This is my weakness! I am Irish, both grandma’s were Irish . . . two females passing down their Irish heritage . . . I have a temper, as a kid it was a temper, as an adult it is impatience. Despite my impatience I am strong. I am strong willed, I am strong mentally, and physically. I attract strong people. Knowing my strengths gives me confidence. I strive to understand my strengths as well as my weaknesses in order to understand how to reach my goals. I also try to understand that while this applies to me, others have different characteristics to thrive on and to overcome.
In today’s world we have to accept the fact that social media plays a role, whether we like it or not. We also have to accept the fact that we are not all the same no matter what might be the current trend. Let’s dig in to this for a minute.
Awesome? YES! Now, even though this is the current trend and we are all posting pictures of our new bright colored leggings and posting them all over the place (SAME), we all look very different in them and that’s okay. The whole point of LulaRoe is that there are only a few of each design so that not everyone has the same ones (DIFFERENT). This is perfect because no two people will ever look the same in them, but we are all comfortable in them and that’s why we wear them (SAME FEELING DIFFERENT APPEARANCE). Some people get them to wear around the house, some use them as a way to spice up the black dress they are wearing to work, some wear them as workout gear, and some wear them as casual wear out to the bars. The trend is the same and the outcome is DIFFERENT.
Who am I? I stepped right in to this trend!
Yup, I said it. Literally the size of you backside is a trend. I’m not lying, I saw it on Dr. Oz! So apparently some chick on reality TV with a rather large booty started a trend making the entire world want a big ass (or maybe it was Sir Mix Alot, I guess we will never know the true origin). To each their own, but let’s go with it. Since this has become a trend originally people were flocking to get butt injections . . . no I’m not kidding. Unfortunately this is illegal and not regulated and there is no way to know what is being injected. So, because of this trend others thought up new and improved and safer ways to increase the size of your backside. So this trend actually caused inventions, research, and created jobs. Whether or not you agree with it, it is making people feel better about themselves, and ultimately it is their choice. So now there is a way to remove fat from the stomach and put it into your rear end, there are specially made clothing lines that lift and tuck your bum in order to make it look tighter and curvier, and there are even workout plans specific to increasing the size and shape of your tush. This means that while the trend is the same it did different things for different people, created jobs for some, increased creativity for others, made some advocates for illegal injections of any kind, and made others feel good about their bodies. Ok I think I am out of names for your butt so that’s enough on this trend.
Who am I? On this trend I just missed the tail end!
Is this a trend or is it a resource? Sometimes it’s hard to tell with this one. Some call the trend Pinterest Mom’s if that helps us distinguish the difference. This is a trend that some people took off running with. Pinterest became this huge tool that people were using to try extravagant new recipes or workouts, but especially started the DIY (Do It Yourself for those behind on the acronym trend) movement! All these mom’s were all over social media showing off the things they were making from scratch. Unfortunately, then EVERYONE felt like they had to be a Pinterest Mom, and people started to feel like less of a parent if they were not able to do what these other people were accomplishing, but here’s the thing, WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. We have different skill sets, and that means that there are things these amazing DIY people aren’t good at that someone else is. This trend created a network and a resource for many people to discover and display their creativity and even created jobs for some people as they learned to make products that they could sell. While the trend was the same, it created a place to show off talent for some, find ideas for others, and attempt new things for even more.
Who am I? I love to enjoy other’s creativity, but I do not usually do it myself!
Yup, I brought it up. Selfies, a long running trend. There was even a song all about selfies! Selfies have shaped how we see things. So many people use selfies to express how they are feeling, what they are doing, who they are with, etc. Rather than telling the world I went hiking today, they show it in a picture with their facial expression to go with it. Sometimes things are just easier for us to process if we have a picture. Some people are sick of selfies, and that is their prerogative, but I think that it’s wonderful how people are sharing what they are doing and showing us how good it made them feel. Positivity is always welcome. This trend has allowed people to share how they are feeling and what they are doing, and usually something they are proud of as that is generally when most would take a selfie. While the trend is the same, we use it for different things, some a sweaty selfie to express pride in their workout, some next to their loved ones to express excitement about who they are with, some with their food to show off that they successfully cooked a new delicious recipe, some with their kids to express the joy their kids get from using the Snapchat filters (yea that’s right, it’s normal, we all do it), and the list goes on and on.
Who am I? Personally, mySELF, I love the selfies!
Sit back and really think about it. Who are you, who are you not? Who do you want to be? Why do you want to be that? Is it because you have to, or because you WANT to?
At one point I thought, yup, I could totally be a stay at home mom. I think that’s what I want to do! Why did I want this? Daycare was expensive and I wasn’t making very much money, so in my mind this was something I needed to consider. Then I spent some time at home alone just me and my kids. Don’t misunderstand, I LOVE my kids more than anything but this is when I realized: I have the constant feeling that if I am not doing housework I am being lazy and it will never get done, when I finish house chores I create more in my head, I don’t sit still well, I start Lysoling everything if I think someone in the house is getting sick, I hate doing dishes 24/7, I really want my kids to eat healthy but I suck at cooking and it takes time to learn, I have expectations that might be slightly higher than normal for my kids age, I love the thought of art projects but I am not very creative, I want everything to be educational but I don’t know where to start, and I tend to feel guilty all the time, like I am missing something my kid should be getting or doing.
Guess what . . . I am not a stay at home mom, nor will I be anytime soon. This is not my strength and not what I was meant to do. It does however make me appreciate those who are, and those who care for my kids while I am at work. My 3 year old is progressing more and more everyday and he is super smart. He learns new things everyday and has fun doing it, he socializes with other kids his age and other adults all who come from different families, economic statuses, cultures, and backgrounds which will help him as he grows. As hard as it is for me as a parent, and as many times as there is something small that I think I would do different or don’t fully agree with the way it’s done, I know that my kid is safe, happy, and learning everyday and he ADORES everyone who is caring for him, and for his sister for that matter. So to these people I say thank you, because you are doing something for my children that my characteristics and traits make it too difficult for me to do well. You are giving him something that is priceless and as a parent I am thankful for you everyday.
Who am I? I am not a stay at home mom, and I am not a teacher.
At one point I thought, well, since I can’t be a stay at home mom I guess I need to be a super successful business woman and become the CEO of a company somewhere or the head of something somewhere so that I know I am doing something with my life. Why did I want this? Somewhere in my 25 years I had conjured up the thought that it was either stay at home with the kids or become the big shot career woman, and anything in between meant I was not successful or trying hard enough. While there are many women who are able to do each of these things and succeed, neither of these things define success for every women, or me. Successful means that you are happy, and content in your current state and moving toward your ultimate goals. Success is not measured by your career path. I am not meant to be the CEO of a company, god bless those who are because we need you and I couldn’t do it. My strengths push me toward working for myself, giving back to my community and others, and helping people. No matter how that all plays out, this is success for me.
Who am I? I am not the CEO, CFO, Executive, Director, or head of anyone else’s company.
At one point I thought I would get married, have kids, and then get a divorce because that’s just what people did. I accepted boyfriends that I thought I could be married to for a couple of a years before we got divorced. No, I’m not BS’ing you, I legitimately thought these things. That was just normal in my mind. Why did I want/think this? I thought that was normal. I thought that’s just what people did. I was settling for right now, versus long term . . .weird how that impatient thing comes up again! Funny how after life played out a little I realized that I wanted a FAMILY. I wanted to be surrounded by people who I love and who love me in return, people who are there for me no matter what (and vice versa), I wanted to create little people that I could raise to be really awesome big people and I wanted to do that with someone who I would make a good team with and who would make up for the things that I lack. I wanted this to be someone who I would still want to hang out with all the time after those big people moved away to do what they were meant to do. That’s funny I don’t see the word marriage or wedding in there or divorce for that matter. That’s because I realized to me that didn’t matter, rings, parties, court documents, etc. That stuff is all just extra. If it comes, cool, if not, who cares because I have my family . . . a lot of family. Plus I got the teammate I needed, and the cool little people I wanted, oh yea and a GIANT VILLAGE of people to help raise those little people to be even better big people. AND a cool dog to top it off!!
Who am I? I AM mom, partner, daughter, sister, in-law, niece, cousin, auntie, and so much more!
I could go on and on with all the different points in my life and what I THOUGHT I wanted because of my circumstances and not because of my actual wants, likes, strengths, etc. But I think you get the point so let’s move on.
So what am I getting at? Who are you? Who are you not? Who do you want to be? Why is that who you want to be? How did you come to that conclusion? Are you there yet?
This is my point. We are not the same. We may be similar, but we are not the same. We have different likes, dislikes, pet peeves, issues, baggage, families, feelings, wants, figures, backgrounds, habits, career paths, goals, aspirations, ways of dealing with stress, ways of expressing feelings, ways of showing appreciation, . . . I know I know, shut up Megan we get it already! So back to the beginning, whether we like it or not social media has become a part of our lives, and the beautiful side is that we get to share our lives and create these relationships that would have otherwise been impossible or at least improbable. The unfortunate side is that it causes us to compare ourselves to each other. This makes no sense. A tree and a nail are two very different things, it makes no sense to compare them, BUT if they work together using both their strengths and making up for each others weaknesses they make a pretty sweat shelter! Gain from each other, borrow ideas from each other, utilize each other for our individual strengths, but do not attempt to be the same. Be similar to those you idolize and share values with, but BE YOU. YOU ARE NOT THE SAME.
BE YOU, THE REAL YOU, NO MATTER WHAT THAT MEANS, NO MATTER WHO THAT IS, NO MATTER HOW THAT’S DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT IS WHAT MAKES EVERYDAY AMAZING. IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME NOTHING WOULD EVER GET DONE!