Everyday while I was pregnant I told myself that as soon as I was able I was not stopping. I would be running, exercising, playing, MOVING! My pregnancy consisted of sickness the first 3 months, but not in the sense of constant puking. I was just tired with no energy. I could barely get off my couch, let alone play with my 2 year old at the time. From there I started to grow my belly and with every inch it got bigger my back hurt worse and worse. I wobbled wherever I went and had to take frequent breaks. Everyday I told myself this will not be the norm. I will get back into fighting shape and I will be the mom who runs and plays with her kids.
After having a tiny little 6lb baby that I swore was going to be huge, I was ready to run about 4 hours later. I got home the next day and started running around my house cleaning and reorganizing, moving furniture, scrubbing surfaces, vacuuming, you name it. The following week I realized THAT WAS A BAD IDEA. I was weak and sore and in some pain because I stupidly chose not to recover after pushing a human out of my body. So as soon as I re-recovered, I got to it!
Shorter modified workouts to start. Then Easton and I ran a 5k. Running a 5k with a 3 year old really means several spurts of “I can beat you to that light post mom!”, followed by “Mom, I just need to go slow for a minute”. This was great. It was exactly what I wanted, running and playing with my kids.
Then I really started pushing! I had to figure out a schedule, make time for me, and somehow manage sleep into that schedule. I am lucky enough that the baby started sleeping mostly through the night about 2 months in. So I made a decision, I could feel like crap or get my ass out of bed a little earlier. I thought back on how miserable and useless I felt while I was pregnant and that was all it took. Alarm clock set for 4:37am (and another one set for 5am just incase, I mean I am human). Baby started crying at 4am. My brain said damnit now I am going to have to go back to bed after I feed her because it’s too early. So I fed her and laid there on the couch thinking I really wanted to work out today. Then the alarm went off. I hit snooze and sat there as my dog stared at me ready for her breakfast. The alarm went off again 3 minutes later as if to say GET OFF YOUR ASS WOMAN! So I did!
I chose to get off my ass no matter what time that kid woke up. I was not going to feel useless. But I needed more energy with less sleep than I was used to. I started choosing vegetables, fruit, oatmeal, and cheese as snacks instead of chips. That decision also came from my son saying mom I need chips too, every time I ate them. I can’t ask him to eat healthy while I eat crap, what is that telling him. I watch parents give their 5 and 6 year old kids pop and it makes me sick, but really what’s the different if the adult is drinking the pop in front of their kid. That’s just telling the kid, wait a few years and then be unhealthy. Same with my chips! There are no nutrients in those chips! I’m a hypocrite! So I made the switch.
I want to be the mom that plays, that runs, that doesn’t say “mommy needs a break”, or “I wish I had your energy”. I want to be the mom that my kids say, “my mom can beat up your mom”, KIDDING KIDDING, everyone calm down. Just a laugh from when I was a kid and that was what everyone said about their dads 🙂 No one is beating anyone up. But seriously, I want to be ABLE, period!
I thought, I said, I realized, I did! It has been three months since I had my little 6lb baby girl and we are both doing great. I feel amazing and my muscle tone, my stamina, and my energy are all ALMOST meeting my ambitions. More importantly baby girl is gain weight like a champ, healthy, and a constant ball of smiles! Carrying kids, having kids, and raising kids is taxing, on your body, your mind, and your heart (and let’s not forget your patience). That doesn’t mean there isn’t a way to be everything your kids need you to be, and it certainly doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Set the example, and choose your energy!